What Is Self-Sabotage?

Sabotage is the act of destroying or undermining something, often in a covert manner. Usually, it implies direct and deliberate involvement on the part of the saboteur – that's why the word is most commonly used in relation to spy, or in business situations where an insider is causing the damage. The term self-sabotage is used when this destructive behavior is directed at yourself. At first, you may not even notice that you're doing it. But when negative habits consistently undermine your efforts, they can be considered a form of psychological self-harm.

Signs of Self-Sabotage

Self-sabotage can manifest in many different behaviors, unique to each person. But there are some common, recurring examples.

You might "forget" a deadline, or fail to prepare a presentation properly, for example. Perhaps you're consistently late to work. You may procrastinate, repeatedly putting off something that you need to do, even though you know you need to finish it.

Maybe you start projects but never finish them. You feel unable to proceed, even when you're presented with an exciting opportunity. Or you may dream of doing something of great personal significance, but never get round to doing anything about it.

Another telltale sign of self-sabotage is that you grind to a halt for no rational reason when you're trying to achieve your goals. The skill and will are there, but something stops you from moving forward.

Self-sabotage is often driven by negative self-talk, where you tell yourself that you're inadequate, or unworthy of success. You find yourself thinking things like, "You can't do that!" "You don't deserve that." "If you try, you'll probably just fail anyway."

We've likely all experienced behaviors like these at some point. But some of us are more prone than others to self-sabotage, and it can be difficult to admit that we're doing it. So, don't ignore or underestimate the signs – self-sabotage can reinforce a misplaced sense of worthlessness and provide a justification for negative thoughts that have no basis.

Self-Sabotage and Self-Esteem

Self-sabotage sets you up to fail in a number of ways. First, it reinforces negative behaviors that eat away at your potential for success. In this way, you may constantly find yourself falling short of the goals you've set for yourself.

It can also damage your reputation. If you don't do what you say you're going to, there's a real risk that your boss and colleagues could come to see you as unreliable, uncommitted, lazy, or lacking drive.

People who self-sabotage might also behave passive-aggressively, and have trouble managing anger. These tendencies damage relationships with friends, family and co-workers.

Such failures and disappointments create further feelings of guilt and frustration. And, over time, this can build up into shame, which feeds low self-esteem. But, you don't have to live this way forever. Contact us, we have some tools that can transform you life!